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When my sister called to tell me she was pregnant, my future with the kid instantly flashed before my eyes. Sure, we lived nearly 3, miles apart. Lakshmin said. Amy Kugler, 39, a writer and content strategist in Seattle, said she understands this struggle from both sides.

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Women, especially, may feel disproportionate pressure to perform in their roles as aunts, Dr. Lakshmin said, or may think that they should already know how to do it well. It can be helpful to start by asking your sibling about what their hopes and expectations are for you, said Joseph S. You can also support your sibling by putting forth a little more effort in the beginning, just after your niece or nephew is born, Dr. Maybe that means offering to babysit or help do laundry every Wednesday.

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Or if you live far away, Dr. Lakshmin suggested, you might send your sibling dinner one night per week for a few weeks. Or Saturday night I get to have 20 minutes of free time to drink a glass of wine in peace because Joey is going to get a Zoom book.

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Once your niece or nephew gets older, you can expand your activities, Dr. Send letters back and forth in the mail, watch a favorite TV show together, or even yourselves up for a virtual cooking class. Just be mindful about gifting toys or projects that might create even more stress for a parent, Dr. Lakshmin noted.

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Loud toys and glitter are common offenders. If you live nearby, she said, offer to store any particularly cacophonous playthings at your house. If you have a fraught relationship with your sibling, it can be easy to let criticism or feelings of guilt or blame interfere with being there for a niece or nephew, Dr.

Thinking about an aunt or uncle who played an important, if imperfect, role in your life can help lessen the pressure, she said. My own uncle, for instance, taught me how to drive a car when I was A couple of weeks ago my sister texted me a photo of my nephew, whose hair had grown long and luxurious during the pandemic and had been expertly French braided by a helper at his preschool. I thought back to our childhood, when my sister used to braid my own curly hair at least once a week before school.

Julia Calderone is a health and science editor for Well and an aspiring cool auntie. So the question lingers: Am I a bad aunt?

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Start with a frank conversation. Keep your interest genuine.

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email: [email protected] - phone:(214) 373-7028 x 5777

My Quest to Become a Better Aunt