Honestly very lonely

Added: Brinda Mcgough - Date: 24.12.2021 03:22 - Views: 45004 - Clicks: 6842

People expect someone who is depressed to cry a lot, stay in bed all day, mope, or sound like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Some people can totally fake it. They can smile and laugh; they can act like everyone else, even while they are in excruciating emotional pain. Occasionally people who can do this end up killing themselves, and no one can believe it. People who are depressed but act like they are fine may not confide in anyone. Usually they find a way to spend time alone crying or letting down the facade and then go back to acting when they have to be with people.

On top of the pain they already feel, acting happy is emotionally exhausting, and having this secret is isolating. So, faking it can even increase the depression. Others funnel their pain into anger and people see them rage, abuse, shame, or react with annoyance or irritation to whatever happens around them. People may fear them, despise them, or dismiss them as mean. It is very difficult to feel sympathy for someone who is hurting people, and it is difficult to see their vulnerability, so their depression goes unnoticed. Still others are addicted to something, and the depression is obscured by the addiction.

People with addictions spend most of their time and energy relating to the addiction. They plan to do it, anticipate doing it—these phases excite them and elevate their mood temporarily. Then they use whatever they are addicted to and it boosts their mood.

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But the thrill wears off, and they are depleted by the effects of the addiction and may also feel remorse or shameso the depression descends on them, pulling them down like a cement jacket. They begin the cycle again to try to feel better; they plan and anticipate. Their whole life is about running from depression, but it becomes centered around the more dramatic force of addictionand the depression can be unrecognized. I am not saying that all addicts are driven by depression—depression can also be caused by addiction.

But addiction can be a form depression takes that is not easy to identify as depression. I include eating disorders in this category. I also include people who work most of their waking hours. Depression isolates people. Whether they are hiding from the world in bed, preoccupied with an addiction, pushing people away with anger, or keeping their real thoughts and feelings inside while pretending to be okay, people with depression usually feel very alone.

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Depression also has a built-in isolating fog quality that makes it very difficult to feel connected to people. People attribute behavior to the moral character of the person, rather than to the illness.

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Depression can cause a person to think she hates herself or is unhappy in her relationships. It can cause someone to believe everyone would be better off without him, or even that others would be better off dead. Ask questions very kindly and listen to the answers very carefully.

Empathize with their emotional pain—even if you have to guess at what it might be. Being a reliable, trustworthy, patient, nonjudgmental listener is the best thing you can do in most cases with someone who is depressed. A couple of caveats: I am talking about adults—children and teens require some variations. Also, addictions cloud the picture of depression and require their own, very different intervention. Nonjudgmental listening is still essential but may need to be combined with some firm boundary-setting and professional treatment for the addiction.

All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Cynthia W. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. I think that I have been at that place in my life when I was depressed but never really let on to others what I was feeling on the inside.

They always just saw me for the funny guy that they were used to seeing, and had no idea the pain that I had chosen to hide within. Happiness and Sadness is a part of life. No one can make you happy and no one can make you sad. It is your own mind that create the sadness and happiness. I am in love with the one who I live for.

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My happiest moments is being in His company. He is all I desire. He is my beloved and my God. There is no other love or friendship to equal Him. Always be in His company and sorrow in the form of depression can never take away that real happiness from your lives. Love God and you will love your own company every moment.

You are your ownself best friend and you are your ownself worse enemy. Bliss will be yours every moment.

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Depression is a physical disease. You need medical help if you are really depressed. If you have bliss all the time, I am truly happy for you. But great swaths of the people in this world are suffering. Many reasons. And are all Christians or Jews in bliss always? Mother Theresa is a good example. And Christians, however devout, suffer family deaths, illness, crime, betrayal, etc.

Not actually disagreeing with you, just a gentle cautionary word not to promise that knowing God always brings eternal bliss. Be empathetic in seeing some suffering as inevitable. Think about Job, read that book of the Bible. I have a Granddaughter that was struck by lightning 2 years ago in her front yard. She can not breath on her own and has a feeding tube. She has to be watched 24 hrs a day and turned. She is bedridden. There have been small improvements. At first I was in shock and then angry at her parents for not making her come in out of the rain.

So many people have prayed and are still praying for her to recover. So sometimes my anger switches to God. I weep when I think about the whole situation. I work and also deal with guilt that I am not able to help watch her more that I do. This has been a tragedy for our family but we love her and look for improvements to her health and rejoice when she moves her hand or turns her head. If I could just feel better, I would. I do feel very alone. I have cancer, d on dialysis, 13yr old fab daughter, mad older sister. Yes, and here is a weird result. I think professional help might be your only listening friend at that point.

Yet I always break down. This article was so refreshing to read. It is exhausting, like you said, but in sharing articles like this, educating others, hopefully the world will have a few more sensitively tuned people that can look past the facade and step into a helping, caring role, even for a few minutes. I agree percent!!!!! This needs to go viral, it could save a life, literally. Kind of scary when you think about just how many people could be dealing with depression all alone because they are really good at hiding their feelings and their emotions. We have to look beyond the outward appearance and really listen to what our friends and loved ones are saying- you might not be able to see that pain, but if you pay close attention then you may be able to hear it in the things that they say.

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Most of the time people who are depressed do show us the s, but we totally miss them because as a whole we are more focused on ourselves than we are on others. Purple Dreamer: You are causing harm and hurt to yourself by doing that. Speak with a friend, go out for a walk and just observe nature, there are so many things that can help. Sometimes you keep shoving those emotions and feelings so deep down inside that all of a sudden you realize that you need some help, but have no idea where to go for it. You find it hard to go to your friends to admit to this because you have kept it to yourself for so long that you are scared they may not believe you.

Live the truth, ask for help. Do you think that since these people can so easily hide what they are experiencing that maybe they would have an easier time recovering? Because these happy and carefree masks we wear are like barriers and walls that we built to somewhat protect ourselves. But why do we hide behind these masks? Thank you all so much for your moving, compassionate responses! The better we can all be at watching and listening compassionately, the more people will feel safe to talk about their pain and get help.

I do think they function better than other versions, though. Depression is horrible! Because it hurts mentally to just think, a person tends to just sit around and watch TV etc. Veg out! I am that kind of person. I at first thought I could hide the pain but then realized that you need to talk to someone! I do go to a physiologist who is very good for me. She listens and lets me get all the bad stuff off my chest. But you have to do things to stop this from completely taking over your life!

I tell her I am so exhausted by the weight of this depression and I just want to be normal again. So for now I deal with it the best way I know and that is to take each day at a time. Some days are good while others are simply the worst. I know I will come out of this because I like the person I am. I am very strong and I know that I am a good and caring person. You need to get rid of your pain! Sad that I can identify with this.

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Usually when I am under emotional distress, I tend to bury it down and keep pretending all is fine to keep people happy because in my mind that will make me happy. But obviously it doesnt. Or not for long anyway. In turn this causes me to go into extreme emotional roller coasters. Right now I would say I am at one of the low points. I have been a bit stressed out lately so I guess that is why.

Sadly, the last time I confided in someone whoo I thought I could trust to listen to me and help me get through a low point, it blew up in my face. Now the relationship between me and this person has become so strained that seeing her on a regular basis sometimes becomes cumbersome for me.

Honestly very lonely

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